The Defibrillator Toaster
My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”
“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!! NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”
He’s bread, Jim.
Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M
If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast!
JESUS CRUST.
JAM IT!
“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”
I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS
HES BREAD JIM
BEST PUNS EVER.
HE’S BREAD, JIM.
LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOO TUMBLR IS KILLING ME TODAY
Tumblr people are hilarious
Anonymously message me (1) thing you want to know about me.
This is my little sister. Tomorrow she graduates high school. It’s a family tradition to always write a note for someone the day before something big happens. So here’s what her letter says..
Goodmorning kiddo,
Today you graduate high school and I have never been so proud of you. You inspire me to be the best solider I can, and I know that you bring our family so much happiness. So tomorrow when your name is called I will stand up and wait until the applause and scream at the top of my lungs. You are so strong and I can’t wait to see what you do in your future. I love you little monkey :)
Love, Ry.
11:52 PM
Yes maam. You are correct.
a message from Anonymous
Just listen to it and you’ll understand.
I just noticed that in every episode of The Big Bang Theory the elevator is broken. But yet they’re all scientist, couldn’t they just figure out how to fix it? Just a thought.
